I am ashamed. Not of these Bacon Chive Pumpkin Seeds; they are simple, easy and snack-y salty deliciousness. I am ashamed of myself.
I have a constant struggle with depression. I really don't want to medicate; not an option for everyone that suffers from mental illness (any thoughts of suicide or self harm require immediate contact with a DOCTOR!!). I take on too much and carry too much stress. The weight of the world is mine, and I have a hard time relinquishing control, or letting people in. I do a poor job of taking care of myself. Not enough love and compassion imparted on my fragile self. I demand more, better, and I settle for nothing less. I set unrealistic expectations for myself.
Along with neglecting my self-care, I'm an under eater. I never take the time or put energy into solo dinners. Food is love, and I suppose the honest truth is I don't love myself enough. If I am cooking for others, or for you: our cherished readers. I spare no painstaking effort in the elaborate process or flavor adventure. Food is plated and displayed like a beauty queen on a May Day float. But when it's just me by myself, I will eat plain yogurt and go to bed. Or something sugary. The combination of too much stress (high cortisol) and depression sends me into a sugar craving spiral (oh sweet dopamine!).
This all begets a nasty cycle, my thyroid isn't the best, and the supplements I take along with my multi-vitamin make me a little nauseated unless I take them with food- but most days I'm too apathetic to drag myself out of bed early enough to have breakfast- so I don't take them- and I feel sluggish- after my work day is thru (and often more than 8 hours) I don't have the energy to work out or make dinner- and I just go to bed-but I don't sleep well or feel rested ever. It's a nasty circle. A downward spiral, because all the sugar fuels my addiction, the reduced calories and not enough fat intake exacerbates my depression, and my motivation sinks lower.
Are you depressed now too? I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention, I just wanted you to know where I am at. Right now, I am feeling sad and frumpy and stressed. I am ashamed of knowing how much good food and self-love makes me feel, but still not actually DOING IT. I know if I don't love myself no one else will. And I'm feeling jaded and single on top of the sadness/frumpiness/stress. Not in the best place.
But I'm ready to make changes. To turn this ship headed for an iceberg South to a tropical beach. Topless beach I think. Maybe even a nude beach, providing there are good beach chairs; getting sand in your bathing suit parts… a whole different set of trouble.
Like last year, Raj has challenged me (and you) to 30 days of paleo to start off the year. I am not usually one to have New Years resolutions, but I'm also not one to back down from a challenge. So I will do it, 30 days, no grains or dairy. Last year I ended up with what I self diagnosed as a carb flu (probably not eating enough). So after doing my 30 days of paleo, I will do a 21 day sugar detox in February. But I am getting ahead of myself here. Lets start with 30 days, and then commit to the sugar detox at that point. Yeah I may have a small issue with commitment. I'll work on that too.
I am pleading for you to join me for part or all of the journey. This is a big deal: I, Miss I'll-get-there-by-myself needs YOUR help. You'll get my highs and lows, pictures, measurements, whatever you want to know. I'll dish on my mental illness, stress levels, emotional and physical changes. And I want to hear your stories too.
So now you are probably asking yourself; What do I need to start? Well that all depends on how much of a masochist you are. Raj tells the story of his first 31 day paleo challenge, waking up on new years day, having made NO preparations or even really knowing what this “paleo” thing was. I'll let him tell the story, but he definitely didn't make it easy on himself.
My experience last year looked like this: I prepared by buying “Practical Paleo” By Dianne Sanfillipino. I glanced through the book and made a meal plan for the first few days, I pulled anything out of my cupboards that wasn't paleo (pasta, peanut butter, spices with soy and sugar etc and put it in a box, gave away unopened packages), and ate all my cookies and cheese. I knew my struggles would be sweets and cheese, and that breakfasts would be a challenge for me. I planned so that I wouldn't be as tempted to stop at Starbucks.
This time around there is a package of resources, meal plans and other lists that you may find helpful (this is an affiliate link for a ton of great stuff on sale until January 4th). Alternately you can search our site, or Pinterest for meal ideas. You can follow us on instagram, facebook, twitter, flikr, tumblr, or subscribe (you get a sweet recipe e-book with your subscription) and get ready to use #theprimaldesire! We want to see your creations, successes, failures, everything!
Have a few things ready to make the transition easier, get a few staple ingredients (eggs, avocado and/or coconut oil, almond and/or coconut flour, almond and/or coconut milk, veggies, some quality meats, cauliflower, some frozen fruit and sweet potatoes to make sure you don't end up with a carb flu like I did).
Heck, you could grab a pumpkin, roast it up for our delicious Pumpkin Pecan pancakes (and freeze the rest or make other great pumpkin recipes), then roast the seeds for a game day snack, or an anytime snack (sports aren't necessary for Bacon Chive Pumpkin Seeds).
Salty and crunchy bacon chive pumpkin seeds satisfy your craving for a savoury snack
- 2 Tbsp bacon fat
- Seed from one pumpkin, rinsed, cleaned and patted dry
- 2 Tbsp finely diced chives
- 1/4 tsp onion powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- Rinse and pick out pulp from the pumpkin seeds, pat dry.
- Preheat oven to 325F.
- Lay pumpkin seeds out on a baking sheet, sprinkle with onion powder and 1 tbsp chives.
- Melt bacon fat and pour over pumpkin seeds and chives, tossing until lightly coated.
- Bake 10 min, mix and pop back into the oven.
- Bake another 10 min and mix again, popping back into the oven for an additional 5 min. (Or until seeds are golden and crisp).
- Top with remaining 1 Tbsp chives.
- Store in an airtight container.
If you are going to eat them right away you can add a slice of finely diced bacon as well!
- Prep Time: 5 min
- Cook Time: 25 min
- Category: snack